


Family Feud - South Side Edition

by Doddz



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Homophobic Language, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2020-01-31 21:21:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18599653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doddz/pseuds/Doddz
Summary: Mickey has a secret lover, but before he can deal with his stupid shit, he has to deal with his families stupid shit.When he unexpectedly finds himself facing off against one Ian Gallagher, he has a choice to make.Survey says: Fun for the whole family... except when it isn't!





	Family Feud - South Side Edition

**Author's Note:**

> Can't believe it's been over a year since I posted...  
> Been working on another story, but it's kicking my ass so I wrote this bit of fun in the hope that it would help me get the other one going again... fingers crossed.  
> Holla to my pal J_Q - YATSAIAMFIPLWY hehe

“Hey, guys” Mandy called as she entered the Milkovich living room lifting her eyes from her illuminated phone screen.

Her father and brother barely registered her presence as they were preoccupied by the activity on their own giant screen.

“Oi! Assholes” she yelled a second time, clapping her hands and stomping loudly on the worn hardwood floor.

Still no response.

“Hey! Shitheads” she tried a third time, while moving to stand in front of the television.

That got a reaction.

“The fuck, Mandy?” Terry bellowed, as Iggy shouted his own displeasure.

Just then a bleary eyed Mickey stumbled from his bedroom.

“What the fuck is going on out here?” he demanded. “I’m trying to get some god-damned sleep.”

“Where the hell were you last night anyway, Mickey?” Iggy asked with a smirk, attempting to waggle his eyebrows but failing miserably.

“None of your fucking business, ya moron” Mickey retorted, cuffing Iggy across the back of his head.

It was not any of their business what or, more to the point, who he was doing when he wasn’t on a run for his dad or causing mayhem with his brothers. It was his business and he planned to keep it that way.

“Um, hello?” Mandy cried, kicking the coffee table in attempt to get their attention back on her.

“Jesus woman, what’d ya want?” Terry huffed, snatching up his near empty beer bottle that was still rocking from the jolt caused by Mandy’s boot.

“How would you like to make a quick grand?” she asked, looking rather smug.

Now she had their attention

“I’m listening” Terry said as the other two grunted their concurrence.

“All you have to do is be at the Alibi Room by 8pm tonight” Mandy explained.

“How the fuck is them spending Saturday night getting drunk at the Alibi Room, as usual, gonna make us $1000, bitch?” Mickey inquired.

“Just be there and you’ll see” she practically sang as she turned and virtually skipped back to her room.

Mickey glanced up at the clock in the kitchen. It read 4.18pm. Three and a half hours was plenty of time for a nap, Mickey told himself as he strolled back to his room.

Pushing his door closed behind him, he dropped down on his unmade bed and rolled onto his front. Fuck he was tired. Tired from fucking. Three rounds they’d gone last night. Three rounds of mind blowing sex; once at the local baseball diamond and twice at the abandoned building over on Halstead.

He’d been fucking this guy for a while now even though Mickey was not the type to commit. He was more of a hit it and quit it kinda guy, but this latest dude could deliver a hit and Mickey wasn’t quite ready to quit it just yet.

Reaching for his phone he thought he would just text and double check that his fuck buddy was keen to meet later, when the screen lit up with an incoming call.

“The fuck you calling me for asshole?” Mickey said as a way of greeting.

“Hello to you too” a voice replied. Mickey bit his lip to repress the smile that threaten to cross this face at the mere sound of his lover’s voice.

“What’d ya want?” Mickey demanded.

The voice at the other end of the line sighed and Mickey imagined him shaking his head in that adorable way of his…

“I was just calling” the voice said, “to let you know that I need to postpone our plans for tonight.”  
  
“You need to what now?” Mickey asked, sounding put out.

“Don’t worry I can still meet you later” the voice reassured him.

“Like I give a shit” Mickey lied. “Seriously though I dunno what you said, you gotta post bones?”

The chuckling at the end of the line had Mickey imagining his bum chum’s eyes and nose wrinkling as he laughed. His head shaking in amusement...

‘Jesus, somebody shoot me’ Mickey thought. ‘I’m turning into a fucking sap’.

“Postpone, not post bones Mick. It just means I gotta meet you later than we originally planned” the voice explained, before its tone changed to what Mickey assumed was supposed to be a sexy one. “Then I’ll really have a bone to post… if ya know what I mean.”

“Is that supposed to be some kind of gay joke?” Mickey asked, rolling his eyes. Jesus this guy was a fucking dork.

“That depends. Did you think it was funny?”

“No. I did not!”

“Then it wasn’t a joke” the voice said. “So, I gotta do a family thing tonight, but I’ll text you when I’m done if you want.”

“I already told you I don’t give a shit” Mickey repeated.

“Oh, ok then maybe I won’t. I heard Boystown has some cool events on tonight. Maybe I’ll head there instead.

‘Hell no’ thought Mickey. He’d been thinking about tonight all day and he wasn’t about to let it go so easily.

“Wo, wo, woah, I mean... you could text me if you really want to. Boystown is a long way to go and I guess I could be free later…” Mickey said, trying desperately not sound as desperate as he felt.  
  
“I thought you said you didn’t give a shit?” the voice teased.  
  
“Fuck you is what I said, ya dick” Mickey laughed, not bothering to keep up his pathetic attempts at remaining aloof. “I gotta family thing later too, but text me when your thing is done.”  
  
“K” the voice agreed, before practically purring… “Can’t wait to see you.”  
  
“Fuck off, before I change my mind” Mickey grumbled. “Don’t forget to bring your bone” Mickey quickly added before ending the call. 

  
**********

  
At 7.55pm Mickey strolled into the Alibi Room. Looking around he could see there were two long tables set up at right angles beneath the large television screen in the corner of the bar. Between those two tables was a smaller desk type table. Vee and Kate seemed to be setting up chairs behind the larger tables while Kev was behind the bar pouring beers and cheap vodka.  
  
“Mickey” Kev called in greeting. His smile seemingly more enormous than usual. “What can I getcha?”  
  
“Jack. Straight” Mickey replied, looking back around at the tables. “And keep ‘em coming” he added. Somehow Mickey had a feeling he was going to need all the help he could get to survive the night ahead.

‘Where the fuck is Mandy?’ he wondered looking around. He could see his father and brother in their usual spot at the pool table and seated at the bar were half the Gallagher clan, along with Tommy and Kermit who was fiddling with a laptop.  
  
“Phillip” Mickey said in greeting as he took the empty bar stool beside the oldest male of the Gallagher offspring, downing his first shot.  
  
“Mickey” Lip replied lamely.  
  
Mickey was not looking forward to the day when his full name became known to his old classmate. Lip had a reputation for being a smart ass. Intelligent even, but he had never learnt how to keep his mouth shut and as a result had often been the recipient of a Mickey Milkovich beatdown.  
  
“Seen Mandy?” Mickey asked, before swallowing his second drink.  
  
“Yeah, Vee sent her and Ian upstairs to get something.”  
  
Mickey swiveled on his chair as he looked over at Vee and Kate.  
  
“What the fuck’s all this?” he asked, nodding at the tables being set up.  
  
Lip looked over his shoulder briefly before turning to look at Mickey.  
  
“She didn’t tell you?”  
  
“Tell me what?”  
  
Lip turned back to the bar with a hearty laugh causing the people around them to look over.  
  
“What’s so funny?” Fiona asked with a grin from Lip’s other side.  
  
“Mickey doesn’t know why he’s here” Lip chuckled.  
  
“No shit? Don’t worry Mickey” she assured him, reaching over to rub his arm, which caused Mickey to give her the world’s most intense death stare. “We’ll go easy on you.”  
  
Lip and Fiona laughed again, while Mickey stood up and leaned over the bar grabbing the nearest bottle he could find. Throwing one more filthy look at the pair, he make his way over to the pool table.  
  
“Do either of you two know what the fuck is going on here?” he demanded.  
  
Iggy shrugged. No surprises there.  
  
“Ask your sister” Terry said, taking his shot.  
  
Mickey rolled his eyes and sighed, before taking a long swig of the bottle in his hand. With his head tilted back he could see his sister coming down the stairs followed by a tall redhead carrying a box. Lowering the bottle, Mickey wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and headed for the pair.  
  
“The fuck is all this, Mandy?”  
  
“Oh, Mickey! You’re here” she exclaimed, squeezing his upper arms, “We can get started. I’ll go tell Vee!” Then she was gone, leaving Mickey and the other man alone.  
  
“I wasn’t really expecting to see you here tonight” the redhead confessed.  
  
“Well, I guess it’s your lucky day then ain’t it, Gallagher?” Mickey replied shortly.  
  
Ian simply smiled.  
  
“You don’t really strike me as a game show type of person, is all” Ian said. Looking slightly amused.  
  
“The fuck are you talking about?” Mickey asked, eyebrows furrowed.  
  
“You don’t know why you’re here?” Ian asked incredulously.  
  
“No, I don’t know why I’m fucking here!”  
  
Ian laughed to himself.  
  
“All I’ll say is… you’re going down!”  
  
Mickey looked around briefly before boldly taking a step closer to Ian. Looking him in the eyes he quietly said “I bet you’d like that wouldn’t ya?”

Ian gulped nervously, eyes flitting around to see if anyone else was witnessing this cataclysmic event. Sadly all eyes were currently on his father, Frank, who had fallen off his bar stool in a drunken stupor.

Mickey stepped back biting his bottom lip as he looked Ian up and down.

“Maybe you’ll be the one going down” Mickey said, eyebrows waggling like a true professional before taking another swig of his bottle and heading back to the pool table.

 

*********

 

“Okay everyone” Kev’s amplified voice rang out across the place, drawing everyone’s attention towards the tables under the screen. “Welcome to the Alibi Room’s first ever Game Night.”

“Woo, yeah baby” Vee cried, clapping her hands. A few patrons joined in halfheartedly.

“Tonight two of Chicago’s finest families will face off in our very own version of Family Feud - South Side Edition, for an fucking awesome prize of $1000!”

That got a much better reaction from the crowd, who raised their glasses and cheered in approval.

“Our first family comes to us all the way from North Wallace. Please give a warm Alibi Room welcome to the Gallagher Family.”

There were wolf whistles and catcalls as Fiona made her way to the table on Kevin’s right. Knowing she was going to be the centre of attention tonight, she had decided to give the male patrons something to appreciate, when she picked out her outfit from Vee’s closet. Lip and Ian followed close behind her propping up a very inebriated Frank between them. Neither of them seemed particularly thrilled, but Fiona looked as though she was having a good enough time for the four of them.

“Our second family are here all the way from over on Zemansky. Please welcome the Milkovich Family.”

There was notably less applause, but none of the family seemed terribly bothered by this. Mandy did look over at her opposition, giving Lip the finger before smiling sweetly at Ian, while Iggy, Mickey and Terry took their seats.

“Okay…” Kev continued, nervous about the next part. “Let’s meet our contestants.”

He turned to the Gallaghers first and addressed Lip who had moved to the start of the line up, after helping Ian settle Frank on a chair.

“Lip, tell us your name” Kev said to Lip holding the microphone up for Lip to speak into.

“It’s Lip” he announced as though it were brand new information. Mickey rolled his eyes and took another swig, while Ian held back a laugh. Fiona was next, introducing herself with her toothy smile. Ian’s introduction was short and lacking in theatricals, as opposed to Frank who tried to grab the microphone and begin a rant about how people who were unemployed should be allowed to drink for free. Ian wrangled him back to his seat, one hand firmly gripping the lapel of his father’s denim coat so as to prevent him keeling over.

Mickey was trying to bite back a smile until Kev headed over their way. He was intercepted by Vee though, who whispered something into Kev’s ear.

‘Thank you, baby” Mickey heard him say before he turned back to Mandy, a relieved look on his face. “Mandy Milkovich, could you please introduce your team to us.”

“Sure” Mandy said with a smile that was a close to genuine as she could fake. “I’m Mandy” she began.

Someone in the audience let out a loud wolf whistle.

“Dream on, asshat!” she replied before continuing. “In my team we have Iggy, Mickey and Terry.”

Lip did a quick ‘loser’ cough, which was met by a “man whore’ cough from Mandy. Ian chuckled to himself shaking his head while Mickey grew concerned that his eyes might get stuck at the back of his head if he rolled them any harder.

“Alright, here’s how we play, teams” Kev stated. We have surveyed 100 South Siders and have collected the top answers. All you have to do is tell us what they are.” Both teams nodded their understanding while Fiona gave Kev two thumbs up.

“Let’s do this” she yelled way more enthusiastically than any of the other contestants were feeling.

“Alright then” Kev said. “Give me Lip and give me Mandy.”

Lip and Mandy made their way over to Kev who was now standing behind the desk where two buzzers had been rigged up. Lip reached over to shake hands with Mandy who reluctantly did the same.

“Ok, there are six answers on the board” Kev said as the screen above him came to life. Lip had helped Vee download a special Family Feud app just for the occasion and Kermit had volunteered to run it. “Name something an angry girlfriend might do to get back at her cheating ex?”

Both contestants slammed their hands on the buzzer, but Mandy got there just ahead of her ex.

“Run them over!” Mandy said with a self-satisfied smirk.

“Is run them over on the board?” Kev asked.

Everyone looked at the screen expectantly.

“Is run them over on the board?” Kev asked again.

Still nothing.

“For fuck’s sake” Mickey groaned to himself. This was gonna be the longest fucking night of his life.

“Hey Kermit!” Kevin called. “Everything ok back there?” Everyone turned to the bar where Kermit was sitting with the laptop, but totally engrossed in something on his phone. That is, he was until Vee went and backhanded him on the arm. “Kermit, you asked to do this job” she said, sounding slightly exasperated.

“Sorry” Kermit replied weakly. “What was the thing they said?”

“Run them over” the bar chorused.

A big red X appeared on the screen with a negative sounding alarm.

“I’m sorry Mandy, that’s not on the board” Kev informed her.

“No shit” she muttered while looking murderously at a smug Lip.

“You fuck someone else” Lip said.

“Fuck someone else” Kev announced. “Is that on the board?”

The screen lit up with “Sleep with someone else” as the top answer which had a value of 43 points.

“Pass or Play?” Kev asked Lip.

Lip looked over at his team. Fiona was gesturing wildly for them to play, while Ian shrugged noncommittally. Frank was currently slumped over the table snoring, so Lip passed, much to Fiona’s horror and Mandy’s surprise.

“Alrighty Iggy” Kevin said. “Name something an angry girlfriend might do to get back at her cheating ex?”

“Um” Iggy began, thinking very hard. “Cheat on him!!!” he exclaimed finally.

“You can’t say something that’s already on the board you fuckwit!” Mickey ranted after delivering a solid punch to his brother’s arm.

Mandy smacked her own forehead as Kevin confirmed that the answer had already been used.

Now it was Mickey’s turn.

“You beat their ass” he said confidently.

The second highest answer lit up showing 17 points.

“That’s on the board, which means you now have a total of… of…” Kev’s face contorted as he tried to do the math.

“60 points” Mickey told him.

“Sounds good” Kevin agreed. “There are still 4 answers on the board. Let’s head over to you Terry.”

“You slash his fucking tyres” Terry offered. “Had that happen to me enough times” he laughed.  
  
The fourth answer lit up with 10 points.

“That gives you a total of…” Kevin looked at Mickey expectantly.

“70?” Mickey supplied. At least if he was keeping score it might take his mind of the other things he could have been doing that night but wouldn’t get to do for several more hours at this rate.

Kevin returned to Mandy who suggested she might “Burn his clothes!” which got them an extra 8 points.

“Yes bitch! Good one” Vee agreed from the bar.

Iggy’s next suggestion was that she might “Prank call him”.

Lip and Ian laughed out loud at that one, while Mickey clocked him in the thigh.

“What are you? Five?” Mickey spluttered.

Mickey said she should “Dump their Ass” and earned them another 13 points, bringing their total to 91 and leaving a final answer on the board.

“One more answer, Terry” Kevin reminded him. “What do you think?”

“I think that girls talk shit about their exes!”

“Let see if he’s right” Kev cried and the final answer lit up giving them the 100 points and winning them the round.

Mandy high fived Iggy on the forehead while Fiona turned to berate Lip for passing on the round. Ian clapped slowly, eyes fixed intently on Mickey, who raised his eyebrows and chewed on his bottom lip in a teasing way that Ian found incredibly distracting, until Kate brought them a tray of beers before the next round began.

 

**********

 

“Okay” Kev began. “Give me Fiona and give me Iggy.”

Mickey shook his head in anticipation of the awaiting embarrassment his brother was sure to bring, causing Ian to grin happily.

Fiona reached over to shake Iggy’s hand, them promptly proceeded to wipe it on her daisy dukes, face screwed up in disgust.

“Frank, wake the fuck up” Lip called down the table.

“There are six answers on the board” Kev said.

Ian shook his dad awake, pulling a bowl of pretzels towards him and removing the drinks from within his reach as they listened to the new category.

Kev continued. “Name something you try before you buy.”

Fiona slammed her buzzer while Iggy stood there looking slightly bewildered.

“Clothes” she said confidently, looking around at her team who all nodded their approval.

“Is clothes on the board?” Kev asked.

The top answer lit up with 31 point.

“Yes” Fiona cried, fist pumping the air. “We’ll play” she decided not bothering to consult the boys. Running back to their table she high fived her family before returning to her seat.  
Iggy received a punch on his other arm from an annoyed Mandy upon his return to the table.

  
“Okay Ian” Kevin said. “Can you tell us something you try before you buy?”

Ian rubbed the back of his neck, while he thought for a moment.

“Ah, a bed maybe” he offered.

The screen lit up with 10 points for the team. Ian stole a glance over at Mickey who looked slightly impressed. Struck with a sudden surge of confidence Ian winked at his opponent, who didn’t quite know where to look, but felt suddenly flushed. His half full glass of beer now incredibly fascinating to him.

Frank suggested that before buying anything, people should try stealing it. The audience agreed that this was a great suggestion but the screen did not. Ian consoled him with a beer while Lip suggested “Cars” as something you try before you buy.

23 points were added to their score for that before it was Fiona’s turn again.

“Um… shit…” she stalled.

“Is that your answer?” Kevin asked.

“NO!” she cried. “Um… um… perfume?” she finally decided.

“Is perfume on the board?” Kev asked as Fiona crossed her fingers and arms.

The screen lit up with 8 points. Fiona faked a swoon of relief, while Mandy looked less than impressed.

It was Ian’s turn again. His suggestion of a couch won them 10 points, which make him smile, although that was short lived when Frank answered with “Drugs.”

“What kinda dumbass let’s people try their drugs?” Terry jeered.

“Good dealers, that’s who” Frank informed him drunkenly.

There was one answer left on the board and it was back to Lip.

“Something you try before you buy” Kev reminded Lip.

“Sex before marriage - ya know, try the milk before buying the cow.”

“Pig” Fiona spluttered, slapping Lip’s arm as Mandy flipped him off, before applauding loudly as the big red x appeared on the screen.

“That’s three wrong answers, sorry Gallaghers. Let’s hand over to the Milkoviches.”

They didn’t bother getting into a huddle before sharing their ideas.

Terry’s suggestion of “firearms” was pretty well received, as opposed to Iggy’s suggestion of drugs, which earned him a slap upside the head.

“Ow! What was that for?’ he asked his brother.

“Are you fucking deaf or just a fucking dumbass? Frank already said drugs” Terry grouched.

“Get your shit together, fuckers. This is for $1000 remember” warned Mandy.

‘Mickey, what do you think?” asked Kev.

“I don’t fucking know” Mickey scowled slouching back in his chair. “Try asking for a fucking discount maybe?”

Mandy scoffed at her brother’s attempt. Ian thought it was pretty smart but it received a lot of boo’s from the crowd as well as his family. Mickey threw up his hands in defeat and waited to hear what the others came up with.

“Fuck you bitch, never wanted to do this in the first place” Mickey muttered to himself. He was really starting to regret his choice of entertainment for the night and only hoped his favourite bone smuggler was still keen to meet up later.

“Mandy, you can choose from your team’s suggestions of ‘firearms’, ‘drugs’ or ‘a discount’ or you can pick something yourself. What’ll it be?”

“Well Kev, I think I’m gonna go with the old man on this one. I say firearms” she announced.

“Let’s see if firearms is on the board.”

A red cross appeared and the Gallaghers whooped. It was one-all!

“Let’s see what the last answer was shall we?”

Mickey couldn’t believe his eyes when “ask for a discount” appeared.

“Fuck this and fuck you” he swore standing up to leave.

“Sit your ass down” his father growled menacingly.

Mickey knew better than to challenge his dad, but he still needed a break.

“Can I at least go take a piss?” he asked, wary that his tone could earn him some new bruises if he wasn’t careful.

“Hurry the fuck up, and bring me another beer on your way back” Terry ordered.

“Okay, we’re gonna take a short break” Kev announced, before retreating to the bar. Terry, Iggy and Lip filed out the front for a smoke while Fiona went to talk to Vee. Mandy settled back in her chair and pulled out her phone as Frank slumped back over the table.  
  
Looking around, Ian eventually got up and headed over to the bar.  
  
“Hey Fi” he said, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Keep an eye on Frank will ya?”  
  
“Sure thing” she replied glancing quickly over her shoulder at her father before dismissing her brother with a wave of her hand.  
  
Ian suspected she wouldn’t give Frank a second thought, but he had bigger fish to fry so stalked off to the bathroom.

 

**********

  
  
The smell of smoke hit him as he opened the door. Mickey was just finishing up at the urinal, cigarette dangling from his lips.  
  
“Pretty sure you’re not supposed to smoke in here” Ian said, letting the door close behind him.  
  
Taking the stick from his mouth, Mickey turned and looked the redhead over.  
  
“What are you? The fucking bathroom police?”  
  
“Actually, yeah I am. Hand it over” he said reaching for the cigarette.  
  
Mickey recoiled, throwing a hand up in protest, while taking a puff. Ian kept his hand out until Mickey handed the smoke over.  
  
“So you having fun out there?” Ian asked, inhaling as he leaned his shoulder against the wall.  
  
Mickey shrugged. “Nothing else to do around here” he grumbled.  
  
“That so?” Ian queried. “No debts to collect? People to beatdown? Bones to pick?”  
  
Mickey’s eyes flew up to meet Ian’s.  
  
“I do have one bone to pick...” Mickey purred, strolling towards Ian, blue eyes locked on green, “...with fuckers who steal my smokes” he growled, snatching back the cigarette and exiting the room.

  
**********

  
“Welcome back to Family Feud - South Side Edition everyone. Let’s get started with the next round. Give me Ian and give me Mickey” Kev called after the contestants had settled back in to their seats.  
  
The pair made their way up to the buzzer. Ian reached his hand out for Mickey to shake, but he just looked at it, as though it might bite him. Just as Ian was about to withdraw his hand, Mickey grabbed it firmly, causing a jolt of electricity to shoot up Ian’s arm. His eyes flew to Mickey, who instantly pulled his arm and his gaze from the redhead, a hint of pink flushing his cheeks. Ian bit back a smile while Mickey found his game face.  
  
“There are six answers on the board” Kevin informed them, as the screen lit up. “Give me a reason you might get beaten up on the South Side?”  
  
Mickey slammed his buzzer before Ian had even registered the question.

“Snitching” Mickey spat. “Snitches get stitches.”  
  
The board lit up with 37 points.  
  
“That’s the top score. You gonna pass or play?” Kev asked.  
  
“I don’t give a shit” Mickey admitted.  
  
“We’ll play” Mandy hollered from behind him.  
  
“Guess we’re playing” he conceded, returning to his chair.  
  
“Okay, Terry” Kev said. “Tell us a reason someone might get beaten up on the South Side?”  
  
“I give people a beatdown when they don’t pay their debts” Terry informed the crowd. “Ain’t that right Frank?” he added. Laughter broke out around the room as 13 points popped up on the screen.

“Hurting or upsetting someone’s sister” Mandy guessed.  
  
“That’s not on the board, sorry” said Kev when the red cross appeared.  
  
“Fucking should be…” Mickey mumbled.  
  
Ian and Lip looked at each other, remembering the times Mickey had come after them in Mandy’s defence.

Iggy was up next.  
  
“Being Frank Gallagher” he laughed like it was funniest thing he’d ever heard. The whole bar erupted in laughter, but an indignant Frank was infuriated at the suggestion.  
  
“Oh you think that’s funny do you?” he began standing up and making his way over to the Milkovich table. “You inbred imbecile. You’re just jealous cos I’m making an honest living, scamming the government, while you fuckers… “  
  
The Milkovich men were on their feet in an instant but Ian and Lip raced to cut him off, herding him back to his chair before the anyone could prove Iggy’s point.  
  
“Sit your ass down, Frank” Vee yelled, bringing him another beer. “Chill the fuck out, it’s not even an answer.”  
  
The big red cross confirmed this as Kevin moved on to Mickey.

“Uhh… not making good on a bet” he tried.  
  
“Good answer” Kev praised as 21 points appeared on the board.  
  
“Nice one” Terry added, clapping his son on the back.  
  
Kev came to the next player. “What do you think, Terry?”  
  
“I think you’ll get a beating if you’re a pole smoking queer!” he laughed. “Am I right?”  
  
Lip and Mandy glanced sympathetically at Ian whose face was beginning to flush. Mickey faked a chuckle, all the while feeling incredibly self-conscious. He chanced a peek at the redhead, who was now giving Terry the chin. A strange feeling came over Mickey just then, but he’d learnt to fight off strange feelings a long time ago, so that’s what he did now too.  
  
Six points were added to their score before Kev moved back to Mandy.  
  
“Sleeping with someone else’s partner” she suggested.  
  
That won the team 14 points, to most of their delight.  
  
“There’s one more answer on the board now. If you get this wrong we’ll hand over to the Gallaghers. Iggy tell us a reason someone might get a beatdown on the Southside?”  
  
“Ummm… Oh I got it” he chuckled. “Being a North Sider! That’ll get you beaten up.”  
  
Terry agreed heartily, but Mandy and Mickey were less optimistic. Justifiably so, when the final red x appeared.  
  
“You fucking suck at this Iggy” Mandy groaned. “Would have been better off with Molly on our team, for fuck’s sake.”  
  
“Gallaghers. Your turn. Name a reason you might get beaten up on the South Side. Frank?”  
  
“Scamming someone” he suggested.  
  
“You’d know” Mickey jeered, causing laughter to ripple through the room.  
  
Fiona thought that lying to someone would get you a beating, while Ian bravely went with “pissing off a Milkovich.”  
  
The bar crowd approved of this suggestion enthusiastically while Mickey stared at the redhead. That strange feeling had hit him again, but rather than feeling amused like he probably should, he just felt kinda sad.  
  
Unfortunately, Ian translated that look as anger, so quickly averted his eyes.  
  
“So Lip, what do you think? Scamming someone, lying, pissing off a Milkovich or do you have your own idea?”  
  
Lip stroked his chin thoughtfully. “Ya know, I’m gonna go with pissing off a Milkovich.”  
  
“Let see if he’s right” Kev said turning to the screen.  
  
The board lit up with 9 points. Fiona, Lip and Frank were overjoyed at their win, but by this stage Ian was kinda ready for the whole thing to be over.

 

  
**********

  
“This is the fourth and final round” Kevin announced to the room.  
  
“Thank fuck!” Mickey grumbled, raising his glass and throwing back a mouthful of beer.  
  
“I’ll drink to that” Ian muttered picking up his fresh bottle of Old Style.  
  
Before it reached his lips Fiona’s hand reached out to stop him.  
  
“Ian” she slurred, clearly far more intoxicated than anyone else in the room, including Frank. “I need you to stop drinkin’ and put your face game on, so we can win this… this… thing” she finished, attempting to pat his face but pushing it instead before reaching for his drink.  
  
“Hey Fiona?” Ian smiled patiently. “Either you leave that bottle, or I leave the team” he replied, losing the smile and giving her face a pat of its own.  
  
“At the moment the Gallaghers are in the lead 2-1. If the Milkoviches win this round we will go to a Sudden Death play off for the prize. Give me Frank and give me Terry” Kev called.  
  
The two patriarchs lumbered their way over to the buzzers and Frank stretched out his hand for Terry to shake.  
  
“Fuck off” Terry bellowed. “I ain’t touching that, who knows where the fuck its been.”  
  
“Oh yeah?” Frank yelled back, then looked down at his hand. “Yeah well…”  
  
Everyone waited for the rant that was sure to follow.  
  
“Well, you may be right” he conceded angrily shoving his hand into his jacket pocket.  
  
Both teams relaxed knowing they were not going to have to watch their parents go at it.  
  
“There are six answers on the board. Name a reason a person might get married” Kev challenged.  
  
Both men thought for a moment then slammed their buzzers. Frank a millisecond in front.  
  
“Tax breaks” he declared. “That’s half the reason Moni and I got hitched, that and the kid on the way…” he laughed. “Oh shit, I shoulda said that! Can I change my answer?”  
  
“I’m sorry I have to go with your first answer” Kev replied. “Let’s see if its on the board?”  
  
The board lit up with 13 points. Frank turned to his team with two thumbs up. Ian rolled his eyes before flicking them over to see Mickey sniggering into his beer foam.  
  
“I’m sorry Frank that is not our top answer” Kevin informed him before turning to the larger man. “Now Terry there are two higher answers. Guess one of them and the power goes to you” Kevin explained.  
  
“Ooh gee… Let me see… Cos there’s a kid on the way” he said sarcastically, staring right at Frank with a pompous look.  
  
The second highest answer appeared with 29 points.  
  
Team Milkovich cheered heartily, more pleased in Frank’s misfortune than their own success. That was short lived however when Terry opted to “Pass”.  
  
“What the fuck?”

“Seriously, Dad?”

“Wait… what?”

“Jesus fucking Christ!”

“Fuck you, you dick!”

“What just happened?”  
  
“Our father the fucking genius, just handed over to… them” Mandy explained to Iggy bitterly.  
  
Team Gallagher applauded the decision just as heartily as their opponents had earlier. Frank threw his head back in delight clapping his hands. He even danced a little jig on his was back to the table.  
  
Mickey shook his head, teeth worrying his bottom lip again.  
  
“Alright, Lip!” Kev addressed the team captain. “A reason people get married?”  
  
“Uh… cos they got drunk in Vegas?” he said hopefully.  
  
A big red X inspired a round of jeers from the enemy.  
  
“That’s the only way anyone would marry your ass” Mandy scoffed.  
  
Lip opened his mouth to respond but stopped himself, folding his arms and lowering his eyes. Ian could tell that his brother was a little hurt by the comment, when he looked at Mandy she was suddenly engrossed by the state of her fingernails. He looked at Mickey but the look he got back was eyebrows raised in annoyance as if to say “what, bitch?”.  
  
“I think people do it for the gifts” Fiona said rather intellegibly, Ian thought, for a woman who was slurring just minutes ago.

When the board showed she’d earned 9 points she stood, arms raised, pointed her fingers in the air and knocked her knees together. Mickey scowled at the display and Ian wondered how many more times his family might embarrass themselves tonight.  
  
“Ian, tell me a reason people get married?” Kev demanded.  
  
At that moment, Mickey leaned forward resting his elbows on the table, his chin supported by tattooed fists. He gazed at the redhead as though he was the most captivating person on the planet. Ian’s eyes widened, his throat went dry and his mind went blank. He could feel his face grow warm and it seemed like the more uncomfortable Ian grew, the wider Mickey smiled.  
  
“Um… ah…”  
  
“I need an answer”  
  
“Fuck, um…” Ian stuttered, tearing his eyes away from Mickey at last.  
  
His family urged him to hurry up, but Ian’s head was reeling. There was only one answer he could think of but he didn’t want to admit it to anyone, let alone this audience.  
  
“I really need an answer” Kevin insisted.  
  
Ian release a sigh. “Fine… scaredaendinupalone” he mumbled.  
  
“Say again?”  
  
Steeling himself Ian lifted his head and said “cos you’re scared of ending up alone.”  
  
He couldn’t stop his eyes from returning to Mickey’s as he slumped back in his chair. The smile had faded and Ian almost thought he saw a look of concern on his opponent’s face. Shaking his head to try and regain some clarity, he was surprised to hear the answer had bought them 5 points.  
  
Across the table, Mickey was strangely conflicted. He had fully intended to put Ian off his game and was pleased when he saw how he was succeeding, but now Mickey was the one feeling uncomfortable and he really didn’t want to think about why that might be. He was also confused as to why no one had said the most obvious reason yet.  
  
“I got another good one” Frank insisted. “In fact I myself have offered to marry several people, males included for this very reason..”  
  
“Fucking faggot” Terry spat adding to both Mickey and Ian’s unease.  
  
“I’m not a “Faggot” Terry” Frank assured then man, “although there’s nothing wrong with that, is there son?” he continued earnestly, turning to clap Ian on the back affectionately.  
  
Ian just stared at Frank in the hopes that the ground would open up and swallow one of them, or both for all he cared.  
  
Terry looked at Mickey confused. “I thought that ginger was banging Mandy” Terry whispered loudly.  
  
“How the fuck should I know who he bangs” Mickey whispered back with a shrug.  
  
“People get married for green cards” Frank declared confidently.  
  
The board lit up with 12 points.  
  
Lip’s turn earned him a red X when he suggested it was because people wanted to have a big party, as did Fiona’s guess that people got married because their biological clock was ticking.  
  
“Sorry Gallaghers, you are out of guesses. Now if the Milkoviches get it right we will go to sudden death, but if not… you win” Kevin informed the teams.  
  
Fiona crossed her fingers and arms again while a look of panic crossed Mandy’s face.  
  
Mickey shook his head in disbelief. How had no one said the number one reason? It was so obvious to him and he told himself it was the only reason he would ever get hitched. “Surely one of these guys will get it’ he thought.  
  
Kev repeated the question.  
  
“Name a reason people get married?”  
  
“Because your parents tell you to” Terry said.  
  
“Because you’ve been together forever” offered Iggy.  
  
“Mickey?” Kevin prompted.  
  
“Uh… unless I’m missing something, I’m pretty fucking sure the reason people get married is because they’re in fucking love or some shit.”  
  
A collective groan arose from both teams as they realised their oversight. Mickey lifted his head, looked directly at Ian and said “Am I right?”  
  
A smile tugged at one corner of Ian’s mouth as he nodded his agreement.  
  
The board agreed too, revealing it as the top answer once Mandy confirmed that “being in love” was the choice their team was going with.  
  
“So, because you both won 2 rounds each, now we go to Sudden Death” Kev said dramatically. “Everyone, top up your drinks while the teams decide who is going to represent them in this final round!”

 

**********

  
Mickey lit his cigarette as the back door of the bar closed behind him. Using his free hand to reach into his pocket he pulled out his phone which was buzzing and saw it was his butt buddy texting him.

  


  
He couldn’t control the smile that lit up his face when he thought about his guy. Thankfully Mandy chose that moment to burst through the back door telling Mickey to “hurry the fuck up.”

“What’s the big fucking deal? You don’t need me for this bit anyway???”

“Um yeah, you’re doing it!” she informed him.

“What, why?” Mickey whined.

“Cos somehow you’re the only one who got all their answers right… Well… you and Ian, which is who you’ll be playing.”

Mickey rubbed his forehead nervously as he made a decision.

“I’m gonna need another fucking drink for this” he muttered, heading for the bar instead of the tables. “Three shots of Jack, Vee” he called over the noise of the bar, holding up three fingers in case she misheard.

While he waited he sent a final text. Once the drinks were poured, he threw one back then carried the other two up to the buzzers, placing one in front of Ian, who looked suspicious and maybe a little bit pleased.

“Let’s do this” Mickey said holding up his shot for Ian to clink his glass against.

  
*********

  
An hour later Mickey stomped his way up to the top floor of the abandoned building where he found his guy waiting for him.

“Took your fucking time” he groaned from his spot on the raggedy old couch they’d discovered on a previous visit.

“I’m here ain’t I?” Mickey said shortly, eyebrows raised as he looked around. “What’s all this shit?”

“Well” the man spluttered. “Last night got pretty cold between rounds and it’s dark as fuck, so I thought a blanket and a candle might be nice.”

“Jesus, you wanna braid each other’s hair and talk about our feelings too.”

“Kinda…” he admitted “but your hair’s too short I’m not stupid enough to think you have feelings.”

Mickey let his middle fingers respond to that last comment, before walking over to sit right beside the other man.

“So you really think one candle will keep you warm?” Mickey teased, gazing at his companion and leaning into his shoulder, keen to get what he came for.

“You’re a dick” he responded softly, with a smile. His eyes travelling over Mickey’s face before coming to rest on his lips. “You sure about this?” he asked bringing one hand up to cup the brunet’s jaw.

“C’mere” Mickey murmured, reaching his own hand up to pull at his lover’s shirt, bringing their mouths together in a firm yet tender kiss. After a few moments they separated, breathing deeply. Mickey was about to dive back in when he felt his partner pull away.

“Thank you” he said quietly.

“For what?” Mickey asked a little nervous now that he’d done it all wrong.

“For letting me do that. I’ve been wanting to forever”

“No shit! You never shut up about it.” Mickey laughed. “So…?” he questioned nervously? “Any good?”

“So fucking good, Mick. You have no idea... the things you do to me! Things you make me wanna do to you.”

“Oh yeah?” Mickey chuckled pulling his man closer, noses brushing together. “Well, there are six answers on the board…” his nose tracing a line across the taller man’s cheek before whispering in his ear. “Name something Mickey Milkovich makes Ian Gallagher want to do to him?”

The redhead grinned and recaptured Mickey’s lips in a hot kiss, pushing the shorter man to lie back on the couch. Ian pulled away, reaching for Mickey’s belt and said, “how about I show you.”

 

********

 


End file.
